Friday, May 27, 2016

13.1 miles of horses and bluegrass

I have been thinking, for quite some time, what to say about our last race. And, dear blog readers, I'm going to start with the nagging secret that's been lurking in the back of my mind all week. Not the quick announcements on Facebook, or

The Horse Capital Half Marathon, in Lexington, KY had our slowest time. 3 hours, 12 minutes. A part of me, growing smaller every year, is completely and totally bugged by that.

Here's something you might not know about me. I am competitive as f**k.

Growing up female, I would often try to couch this in non-confrontational terms, but it always laid underneath. Best test scores. Best jeans. Coolest hobbies. Being competitive drives me to do all kinds of things that I love (knitting aran sweaters, running marathons, cooking nearly everything from scratch!) but it can also be paralyzing. Why run, if you can't be the fastest? Why try, if you can't be the best?

That's the dark side of this drive and one that I try, nearly every day, to avoid. So, for the part of me that's a little pissy we finished in almost 3 1/4 hours, I present this:
The 8 year old that sprinted to the finish line with me, despite panicking near mile 9 that we would never finish. 

The 11 year old that chats non-stop while we run, and carried her stuffed horse the whole way, and glows with confidence after every race.

And this, best of all. The five of us, together. And happy. And proud.

We're all running our own race. Some days I lose sight of this fact. It doesn't matter if I'm at the front of the pack or the back of the pack, as long as I'm with this pack. 

1 comment:

aap said...

Very moving as well as insightful. We are so lucky to have you in the family.